What do I do now? How do I move forward? And what happens next?

I know how you feel— let me rephrase that, I can only IMAGINE how you must feel right now. You are (or were) planning your wedding and then things got— well, complicated. You’ve done everything that you possibly could to prepare for your big day. You’ve been responsible with your finances and stayed on schedule with your tasks. Guest lists were prepared, vendors were secured, invitations were ordered and now literally EVERYTHING has changed, all over the world. You’ve planned for the worst, but not on an astronomical scale like this!

While I know you may be tempted to roll into a ball and cry your eyes out right now, that won’t solve much. I must admit, I love a good “regrouping” cry after a life-altering event; however, I never stay down for long. Call me an eternal optimist, but I honestly believe that things will always get better. Things may not go as planned, but I do believe that there is a better “better” out there for you somewhere, someday. 

Depending on where you live, at this point we’ve had about 12 weeks of this social distancing, self-isolating, masked madness. And girlfriend, let me be the first to tell you— it’s time to dry those tears, get up, and go! Let’s not wait another moment. But what does that mean? How do you pin down plans when the whole world is changing right under your feet? Unfortunately, no one truly knows the answer to that right now (or ever did for that matter), but you can always make the most of what information you do have— and we’re going to help.

I know all of the confusing, contradictory updates can send you into a wedding planning tailspin! In this post, I’m consolidating all of the chaotic information to develop a more logical way of processing this “new normal” and what it means for your wedding day. I’ve tried to make sense of the ever-changing news developments and applied these details to your wedding planning process.

We’re not trying to conquer the world in this post, but hopefully, we can at least get you through the month of June!

What Aspects of My Wedding Does Covid-19 Really Affect?

Believe it or not, Covid-19 does not necessarily affect everything. Time sensitive items— yes. Any work involving research, shopping, or browsing— no. Event financing— it depends.

Time Sensitive Items

We can all agree that this whole situation has been a huge waiting game. Waiting for the “curve to flatten”, waiting for our states and cities to reopen, and most importantly, waiting on a vaccine or a cure. 

Social distancing mandates and changing reduced venue capacities can affect everything from your invitation order to your final venue selection. Think about it— if you don’t know how many people are allowed in one space, you won’t really know how to set-up your event space. If your event space is no longer large enough to handle your guest list in a spaced-out scenario, you may ultimately have to change venues. If you change venues, you may have to change the date. You may also have to change who’s invited just to make it all work under these new conditions.

So what are we waiting for in reference to time sensitive items? We are waiting for as many things to stabilize as possible.


Research, Shopping, and Browsing

On the bright side, if you have internet access you are a rock star right now! The best advice that I have for prospective clients is to do your research and shop around for the best values. Let me clarify, I’m not saying to be on the hunt for the cheapest products and services, but for items that provide the best value. Remember, shopping for dresses and invitations, researching venues and vendors, and even browsing color palettes, hairstyles, and makeup applications on platforms like Pinterest never have an expiration date. No matter where your final event date lands or where your event takes place, the information that you have gathered is still valuable. Additionally, if you’ve already developed a clear plan and design for your event, you can hit the ground running once we are able to move forward in a more predictable way.

Event Financing

If you are like millions of Americans right now, the pandemic has been financially devastating. If this describes what you’re going through, just know that I’m praying for better days for you— hang in there. This situation has and is still affecting you and you may need to step back from planning for a bit until brighter days come, but I truly believe that eventually you’re going to be able to have the wedding of your dreams. 

On the other hand, if you’re fortunate enough to NOT have your job and economic situation affected by Covid-19, consider yourself very blessed— take this time to save, save, save!!! One of the biggest hurdles that my couples commonly face is the inability to accurately save up enough funds to cover their wedding expenses AFTER they begin “real world” wedding shopping. I cannot tell you how many couples get a hard reality check once invoices begin rolling in. For this reason, if you can save during this time, please save not just what you think you need, but perhaps up to 20% more than what you originally anticipated. Think about it, right now you’re probably not spending as much as you normally do. You can’t really go anywhere or do anything, so why not save! Things just aren’t like they used to be. Take those funds that you once used for weekly hair and nail appointments, shoe shopping, going out for dinner, to the movies, or to the club and save like nobody’s watching!

Actionable vs Non-Actionable Items

Now that we know what tasks are being affected by Covid-19, let’s discuss how to handle them. As I’ve mentioned before, timing is everything during this pandemic. Below you will find a table that separates actionable items that can be addressed in the immediate or near future and tasks that are better left handled once the dust settles.

Here’s the rationale behind the creation of our ‘Go For It!’, ‘Proceed With Caution’, and ‘Wait, Wait, Wait!’ lists: 

Go For It

Items included in the ‘Go For It’ list do not involve spending any money. These should all be items that can easily be changed with an adjustment to your wedding date, guest size, or whatever else Corona has in store for us. These tasks are transferable, no-risk, and stress-free. While you are completing these tasks, you should be in a perfect state of Zen.

Proceed With Caution

Any task included in this list should be done ONLY after you have completed all tasks in the ‘Go For It’ list. While not completely “risk free”, they are low-to-moderate risk tasks that will involve some level of financial risk. Whether it be the potential loss of deposit funds, re-planning, and/or some amount of compromise, you will have to be one part fortune-teller, another daredevil to get through this list during the current times. Flexibility is a must and careful contract review is even more crucial.

Wait, Wait, Wait!

If any of your remaining to-do list items land in this category, you really should consider saving it for a later date when things are more certain and stable. Why? Continuing with any of these tasks as usual may either result in overspending, “locking” yourself into a new date that may not be feasible, and/or having to repeat the same tasks later on down the road. 

Depending on individual refund and rescheduling policies, you may not be able to get your money back on cancelled flights, cruises, or hotel accommodations. Furthermore, depending on domestic and international travel restrictions, even if you are able to make travel arrangements, once you arrive at your destination you may not be pleased with the limitations put on your trip. For example, check out these articles from Forbes and this one from Bloomberg about Hawaii’s current restrictions. Do you have an extra 14 days to spare in quarantine in addition to the time you’ll actually be enjoying your vacation?

Reasons to wait on your wedding gown alterations? Not saying that it WILL happen, I know you’ve been good, BUT just in case you have or will gain a few extra pounds since you’ve been in quarantine, let’s just wait until your final wedding date is safely locked down before you begin making changes to your gown. Take some of the pressure off yourself! Let the bread-baking phase of your quarantine wear off a bit and wait until things “stabilize” before altering those waistlines and hems.

To summarize, anything that has inflexible expiration dates or is irreversible should wait until after major restrictions end. I would advise against buying anything that is dated, final, invalid after a designated time, and/or must be reprinted or repurchased. This includes save-the-dates, invitations, as well as applying for your marriage license. Although you may have better luck trying other counties, remember that [at the time this post was written] all Harris County Clerks offices,  including the main office and annex locations, are currently closed to the public. This means that you cannot apply for your marriage license at this time. Whenever you are able to apply however, please note that the license is only valid for 90 days after it is issued. So under the unfortunate circumstance that we experience another shutdown or you need to change your wedding date, you will need to reapply (and repay) for a new license as long as you wait three days before you get married with the new license. My thoughts? Simplify your planning process and eliminate as much of the added stress as possible. Every task that I’ve included in this section typically will not take a lot of time to complete. Even if you wait a little longer to get everything just right, trust me, you’ll still have enough time to finish these tasks with more than enough time to spare.

So, What Are We Waiting For?

Unfortunately, we’re waiting on a few different things in order to be able to plan in a somewhat normal way. While things may be a little confusing, I’ll try my best to try to untangle the messages we’re receiving and apply it to how this relates to how you plan ahead for your wedding.

Please keep in mind that when discussing these restrictions, I’m typically “weaving” in between national, state, city, and county guidelines to find the best answer. For the purpose of consistency, I’ve chosen guidelines associated with the CDC and Texas, Harris County, and Houston jurisdictions.

Lifting of Outside Vendor Restrictions

For a typical event, I can organize upwards of 20 different vendors including florists, decor and linen rental providers, caterers and bakers, bartenders, make-up artists, hair stylists, photographers, and more. The great news— at the time that this post was written, I found no evidence that prohibited these vendors from providing services in the state of Texas or within Houston city limits as long as they worked within the confines of government mandates. Reach out to these vendors now to determine what their plans are for providing you with the services you need while also keeping you safe.

You may have noticed that one obvious vendor was excluded from the list above— wedding venues. The reason being? It’s a little complicated. Let’s look at three different classifications when dealing with weddings to get an answer: looking at a wedding as a mass gathering, a wedding ceremony, or a wedding reception.

Venue Re-Openings

1|  Weddings as mass gatherings

According to suggestions by the CDC, weddings are listed under the umbrella of large events or mass gatherings. A mass gathering is any event with “large” numbers of people in attendance. FYI, for groups with high risk populations, the maximum number of people that should be gathered are 10 people. This means anyone over the age of 65, like grandparents and some parents, may be considered a high risk population - and shouldn’t gather in a group larger than 10.

Best case scenario: Assuming that your guest list only includes young, healthy populations, the sustainability of being able to go through with a mass gathering is dependent upon two factors: (1) where your event occurs and (2) what stage we are in with our fight against Covid-19 for that specific area. If the event venue is considered to be within an area that is still experiencing a “minimal-to-moderate level of community transmission”, the CDC recommends that you either reduce the guest size and/or abide by the guidelines of  local leadership. If the event venue is considered to lie within an area that has a “substantial level of community transmission”, the CDC recommends that the event be cancelled completely. Unfortunately, at this time we do not know what this “magic number” is where we can return back to a pre-mask, pre-6-foot, yet post-vaccine norm. For now, we will have to plan around the local regulations in reference to masking, social distancing, capacity restrictions, and enhanced sanitation methods.

2| Weddings ceremonies

This info only applies to the ceremony portion of your event. According to the Governor’s Strike Force to Open Texas-Wedding Venue Minimum Standard Health Protocol, as of May 5th, wedding ceremony venues should place precedence on outdoor locations for the ceremony; however, they can allow indoor ceremonies as long as occupancy is limited to 25% capacity. Additional guidelines include:

• Allowing a designated area for at-risk guests

• Keeping at least two seats empty (or six feet separation) between parties seated on the same row

• Leaving every other row empty between guests

3| Wedding receptions 

According to the Governor’s Strike Force to Open Texas-Wedding Reception Venues Minimum Standard Health Protocol, as of May 5th, wedding receptions occurring at a venue that is not a restaurant must function at 25% occupancy; however, wedding receptions held at restaurants should follow the restaurant protocols. FYI, restaurants must abide by the Governor’s Strike Force to Open Texas-Restaurant Customers Minimum Standards. And as of May 22nd, restaurant dine-in services may increase to 50% of their total listed occupancy, excluding employees and outdoor spaces with some of the following conditions:

• This only includes restaurants that make less than 51% of their sales on alcohol

• Cannot include interactive games

• A maximum of 6 people per table

• Six foot spacing between different guest parties

Additionally, there is also protocol listed for your wedding reception guests.

Hopefully, in time these restrictions will continue to ease as Covid cases decrease in our area. In the meantime, reach out to your venue/prospective venue and discuss what options you have for table spacing with reduced capacities.

The End of Social Distancing

Often touted as the “champion” to lowering and even eliminating Covid-19, let’s face it, social distancing is here to stay for a while. In reference to social event planning, these regulations probably provide us with the biggest challenge.

Social distancing at weddings means that dancing would be discouraged, capturing group family photos will be tricky, and guest seating arrangements will need to be totally revamped. Even with increased sanitary measures, the use of masks and other PPE, if guidelines still stipulate that we must maintain six feet of separation between the people who live in our household and those in the next, things just won’t be the same. I’m not saying that it will be impossible to have an event amid social distancing requirements, but you will definitely have to work within the spirit of compromise. If you know exactly what you want and don’t want to make major adjustments to your big day, by all means wait it out. It may definitely be worth it.

Lifted Travel Restrictions

If any of your VIP wedding guests such as parents, siblings, bridesmaids, besties, or groomsmen are out-of-towners, you may meet a couple of challenges getting everyone together. 

Depending on where everyone is coming from and traveling to, a bit of coordination will be required depending upon what the recent recommendations and quarantine travel mandates are. Once again, I’m not saying it’s impossible, but you may want to review the CDCs most recent guidelines for travel beforehand. My advice, if you have the flexibility to wait, please wait.

The Vaccine/Treatment

All of our hopes are hanging onto this (and perhaps with a bit of faith too)! I think all of us will breathe a huge sigh of relief when a vaccine or cure for Covid-19 are discovered. Even though we’re all trying our best to go on with our lives, I honestly don't think that we can wholeheartedly move on until we get a vaccine and/or until an effective treatment plan has been developed. 

The good news is that lots of brilliant people are on the case! According to the World Health Organization, internationally, there are over 120 proposed vaccines that are in various stages of development. The Covid-19 FAQ section of the Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy website indicated that in February 2020 the head of the CDC estimated that it would take about 18 months to develop the vaccine— excluding time for licensing and distribution. With this timeline in mind, we are looking at some time after August 2021 before we can return to normal for a worst-case scenario. However, this is not to say that weddings cannot take place before August 2021. As an eternal optimist, I’m assuming that transmission and infection rates will gradually decrease (if we’re all on our best behavior) and many of the existing restrictions on venue capacities will soften over time—even before the virus is completely eradicated or at least under control.

Comfort Levels to Increase

If everything goes as planned, life is as much back to normal as we remember, and all is well and good, we still have one obstacle to overcome— our own anxieties. Let’s face it, we’ve all been traumatized by this microscopic monster! Covid-19 has challenged our sense of basic safety and security, pulled us out of our comfort zones, and caused us to reevaluate our priorities. And naturally some of this has fueled our wedding planning angst— and that is perfectly fine. Make sure to allow some time for you, your beloved, your wedding guests, and even wedding vendors to wrap their minds around what has just happened. While you may never get everyone to land on the same page in terms being comfortable traveling or congregating again, try to focus on what’s best for you and your fiance/fiancee. Ask yourself these questions: Do I feel safe? Do I feel financially secure? Will I be satisfied with what I’m able to do? If the answer to these questions is ‘yes’, go for it! However, extend some grace to those around you if they’re just not ready to move on yet and you are.

If We Decide To Move Forward Before Everything Gets Figured Out…..

What should you expect? Before August 2021, honestly, it’s hard to really tell. If I had to go out on a limb, I would predict continued social distancing, continued use of masks, and small (very small) guest counts for weddings until at least February 2021. 

For indoor wedding receptions, if we remain at 25% occupancy, maintain the six-foot separation between household groups, and adhere to other local mandates, I would estimate that most venues would be able to accommodate the following guests counts based on the size of their banquet rooms:

With this in mind, in my opinion the biggest battle that couples will face will be decreasing the original guest list size while potentially paying the same venue rental rates. If you can get past this hurdle, you’re in great shape, you may be able to go ahead as planned. This is one well fought battle; however, you will still have to agree to other event restrictions. Can you handle compromising on some of your original plans? Will you be okay if everyone has to wear masks? Are you open to a smaller guest count? Check out our Compromise Checklist to see if you’re really ready to move forward with your pre-August 2021 wedding date.

Final Thoughts

Hopefully this post has not driven you to a place of further anxiety, but instead provided some clarity on how to move forward with the best information that is currently available. I hope that we’ve streamlined your thought process and given you the confidence and tools you need to make the best decisions in planning your big day. 

Don’t be afraid to meet these challenges head on, or maybe even try to have a sense of humor about it all. Check out these fun products on Etsy.com that will help you commemorate this weirdly confusing season of your life! 

I know this is a tough time to think about getting married, but just know that this won’t last forever. Think about all the awesome stories you will have to tell your future grandchildren of how you and your sweetie survived the year 2020! Try to accentuate the positives during this time. Think about the time you now have to really shop around, research, and hopefully save towards your big day. 

If you do decide to wait it out, don’t look at yourself as being selfish or misguided— but patient and intentional. On the other hand, if you decide to proceed as is with the current regulations in place, don’t consider yourself to be impulsive or naive— you, my friend, are fearless and committed. Even if you fall somewhere in between, you should be proud of how you’re handling this amazingly difficult time. Remember love always wins and you’ve got this!

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